friendship help

Top 10 Most Popular Friendship Articles of 2016

Every year I round-up my top ten most popular friendship articles and share them once more.  Many of you joined us half-way through the year, missed a post here-or-there or just want to re-read some of the best ones to see how they resonate with you now. 1. In Sickness and in Health: 5 Things I Wish My Friends Knew About Friendship and Illness

With nearly 1 in 2 of us suffering from some form of chronic (often invisible) illness, we all want to become more sensitive and thoughtful in how we interact with one another. This blog talks about how to make and keep friends when energy and health often feels limited, challenged or uncertain.

2. How much do you REALLY want good friends?

What price tag is friendship worth to you?  Unfortunately, the actual process of making friends includes activities and feelings most of us would rather avoid.  This blog challenges us to ask ourselves how much we value friendships and what we are willing to invest for the outcome we desire.

3. The 7 Verbs for Better Sex, Works for Friendships, Too

The acclaimed “sex therapist”, Dr. Esther Perel, offers 7 verbs for healthier relationships and these apply to platonic friendships too!  This is the perfect blog post for reflection on the year 2016.  Ask yourself how comfortable you are at practicing these verbs, how hard or easy these actions are for you, and what you want to work on in 2017.

4. 2 Ways to Respond to Friends Who Annoy or Frustrate

This amazing video blog talks about how to respond to frustrating friendship experiences and taking steps to build upon what you have rather than giving up and walking away when your needs are not met.   While these steps won’t fix every situation, they are certainly the first two steps we should practice in our attempts to repair or enhance a friendship that isn’t feeling super meaningful.

5. Do You Talk Too Much?

Your friendships are at risk of not reaching “frientimacy” when your friends aren’t practicing speaking up or when you’re not listening as much as you’re sharing.  This blog post helps us identify if we are giving our friends the space they need to be seen and provides over-talkers with 5 practices to pave the way for deeper and more meaningful friendships.

6. How to Respond to a Friend’s Pity Party

I think it is safe to say we have all had moments where we feel our inner mean girl come out and our self-doubt, fear, personal gaps and a general feeling of failure takes over our brains.  In this blog post, Shasta shares how her friend responded when she felt under-attack by herself so we can all feel inspired to show up for each other.

7. A Practice for “I Don’t Have Time for Friends”

Lack of time for friendships is one of the most common complaints when it comes to doing what we know would develop our friendships toward greater fulfillment.  We know that time together bonds us, but where does one find that time?  This blog post talks about an ancient practice called Sabbath and invites you to re-orient your life.  Cease and desist for one day to focus on you!

8. The Cost of the Constant Catch-Up Cycle

Are your friendships caught in a vicious cycle of not spending enough time together to feel really meaningful?  This blog post helps us understand the price of the Constant Catch-Up Cycle and invites us to move beyond just catching up and achieve the frientimacy we crave.

9. The Other 3 Most Powerful Words

These 3 words can open up repairing conversations with a friend where we might feel some tension, distance, or frustration.  Therapist, Tricia Andor, reminds us how simple and easy it can be for all of us to take on an awkward or uncomfortable conversation that may help deepen the friendship and grow our emotional muscles.

10. The Verdict: Can Men and Women Be Close Friends?

Our lives can be enhanced from all types of relationships.  The goal isn’t to limit what type of love and community we can create in our lives, but rather to do so in ways that are healthy and honest.  This blog post challenges us to reflect on your cross-gender friendships and take a deeper look into how meaningful and supportive they are in your life.

A huge thanks to all my GirlFriendCircles.com members and readers of my blog!

May we continue in 2017 to honor all that is right with friendship, committing ourselves regularly to the practices of healthy personal development and relationship joy.

- Shasta

p.s.  As always, I welcome your comments!  Share with me which one is your favorite!

p.s.s  Want more popular articles?

Top Ten Most Popular Friendship Article of 2015

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The 10 Most Popular Friendship Articles of 2015

Every year I round-up my top ten articles from the year and share them once more!  Many of you joined us half-way through the year, missed a post here-or-there, and or may just want to re-read some of the best ones to see how they resonate with you now. I didn't blog this last year as much as I have in previous years (in part to writing a book most of this year--Frientimacy comes out March 1, 2016!) and I missed it.  I love interacting with all of you in this way!  So huge thanks to you for all your comments and questions and I look forward to writing more in the year ahead!

Here are the Top Ten:

1.  To My Non-Posting Friends on Facebook

I riled up a few of you with my unconventional post encouraging more Facebook updates!  But so many of you wrote me confessing that you so enjoy reading others that it makes sense you might want to post a bit more, too!  In this post I tackle some of the most common excuses for not post on Facebook.

2. Ten Steps to Starting Friendships

While my upcoming book Frientimacy is all about how to deepen our friendships, for many of us we need to first be meeting potential friends and gathering up people to befriend.  If meeting people is on your to-do list then here's a quick list of my best advice for creating new friendships!

3.The Friendship Formula

Is there a formula to love? Yes indeed there is! We know what bonds people and what behaviors help two people feel close to each other!  I've since built this model out but it's still pertinent and helpful even with the two required ingredients I list.  Are you doing these two things?

4. I Almost Unfriended Someone on Facebook Yesterday

I only wrote about Facebook twice this year but both posts made it into the top ten!  I've long been asked how one might know when it's time to unfriend someone on social media and while my answer may not be the right one for you, it hopefully gets you thinking about why you use Facebook and what type of relationships you're prepared to develop!

5. If my friend really liked me then she’d initiate more…

Oh it's so easy to get our feelings hurt by the perceived negligence of our friends: their not calling, not reaching out, or not inviting us to things.  It's easy to create a story that we are being rejected-- that this is their way of saying that we aren't important to them.  But that would be a mistake.

6. When You’re The Only One Making Time for Friendship

Someone wrote in and asked for my advice as she feels like everyone is too busy and unable to make the time for friendship that she is.  So while we can't just wave a magic wand and make a ton of free time for everyone, here are some tips I have for what we can do to help initiate and inspire more meaningful and consistent connections with others.

7.  Top Three Tips for Making New Friends

So many women are looking new friends but frequently are trying to do so without following these three guidelines!  Far too many people leave friend-making to chance and don't understand that they can't develop good friends without following this advice.

8. On Being Willing to Disappoint People 

It's hard to say no to people, especially friends, but I am a strong champion of our need to practice saying no when we need to.  In fact it's intimately connected to our need to ask more clearly for what we need from people.  We need to get better at both.  The two are linked-- as we practice saying no, we tell others it's okay to do that too, and we'll both feel more comfortable asking for what we need when we can trust the other to say no if they can't.  In this post I share how I learned to say no.

9. Advice: Drifting Apart: Give Up or Try Again? 

Someone wrote in and asked for my advice about whether I thought it was worth her trying to salvage a friendship that hadn't felt particularly meaningful or high priority to her former best friend.  Read her question and see what advice you'd give her, and read my reasons for why I weighed in how I did!

10. With Whom Should I Be Vulnerable?

So many of us resist sharing vulnerably with others, often because we feel we've been burned before when we did.  We don't want to put ourselves at risk unnecessarily so we tend to clam up instead of open up.  But maybe the problem isn't whether we share or how we share, but rather making sure that who we're sharing with is the right people?  Here;s my litmus test for deciding how much risk to take with others.

Thanks for being a part of this community as a woman who is committed to being a healthy friend in this world! It's been an honor.

With gratitude for a year where we all grew in our maturity and loved more deeply,

Shasta

p.s.  As always, I welcome your comments!  Share with me which one is your favorite! Or what you hope I write about more in the year to come!

p.s.s  Want more popular articles?

Top 11 Most Popular Friendship Articles of 2014

Top Ten Most Popular Friendship Article of 2013

Top Ten Most Popular Friendship Articles of 2012