May I continue to acknowledge what is true: that relationships are my way into health and happiness, even as I walk in a world that is no longer oriented to this knowing. Money, productivity, and appearances often tempt me to think they point to my happiness, but I will remember that they are but empty promises-- ladders leaning against walls pretending to be paths. Instead of chasing other things with only hopes of someday using those things to feel loved, I choose to remember that I can simply go straight to the love I desire to create. I don't have to do more to impress, earn more to woo, or become more to be lovable. I am enough. May I be patient with myself and others as we continue to awaken to this truth. We forgot. We fell asleep. We got distracted. We lifted our gaze off our tribes, our communities, our families, and our friends-- we got caught up in the chase, the busy-ness, the pursuing, the grabbing, the climbing, and the achieving. May I be gentle with myself as I practice prioritizing people and may I be forgiving with others who don't yet remember.
I believe in making friendships happen. To me, that means: I will be brave.
Brave enough to believe, to hope, and to admit that I want meaningful friendships that support my life.
Brave enough that I can acknowledge when I'm lonely and see that as an invitation, not an indictment.
Brave enough to look in the mirror and say, "I am worthy and capable of creating intimate friendships."
Brave enough to initiate. And then to do it again. And then to not take it personally when she can't, or won't, or doesn't.
Bravery means showing up when it's scary because we believe in something that matters more. And I do. I believe in making friendships happen.
To me, that means: I will foster my joy.
I want my joy to first sustain me. I will foster a joy in my life by growing, seeking, creating, playing, learning, praying, and laughing.
In fact, I want to laugh more. God, help me to laugh more.
But I also want-- deeply want-- my joy to nourish others. That when they leave my presence they feel more hopeful about their lives, more loved for who they are, and more joyful for what we experienced together. May my quiet joy remind me to show up with love to give, rather than with attention to steal.
Because I believe that what you seek is what you find.
And I want to find joy. So may I remember to look for joy in my relationships.
I believe in making friendships happen.
Which means acknowledging that they don't just happen.
I swallow bravely, and then I whisper what I know is truth: "I make them happen."
They don't happen to me.
Nor would I want them to...I am not a victim in this process. No.
I am a powerful, capable, strong, loving person who creates my destiny, invites community, and facilitates the relationships I crave.
Now instead of a whisper, I speak with volume, my voice getting stronger in my conviction.
I will be a creator, a maker, a sustainer of that which matters to me.
And friendships really matter. Romance isn't enough to capture all the laughter, joy, and memories I want to share.
I will courageously set aside time for friendships.
Courageous because it means no longer falling for the scarcity myth, pretending that I don't have enough time. For I do.
I have all the time in the world; it's mine to spend, it's mine to savor, it's mine to prioritize, it's mine to invest in. And I choose to invest in people, and moments, and laughter, and honesty.
I will own the fact that if I want relationships then I must initiate.
And then do it again. And then not take it personally when she can't, or won't, or doesn't.
I will intentionally ask questions. And listen to the story she weaves. Not listening
just until it triggers another story for me to tell. Not listening while judging her for her choices. Not listening to look for differences between us. Just listening with a curiosity; seeing her as another wonder in this world.
Oh and I will share... and I'll practice doing it with vulnerability. I say practice, because few of us do so with ease. But I will practice showing up with less pretense, less need to impress, less agenda, less PR-mode, less worried about how I am coming across, less committed to an image.
It's scary... but that's the kind of friendships I want to make happen; so I know it's the kind of person I need to be.
I believe in making friendships happen.
And this girl, this woman, this queen-of-my-heart, lover-of-life, powerful and sacred vessel-- yes, I am all that more... and I am going to make my friendships happen.
A-men. And it is so.
If you're a member of GirlFriendCircles.com then that means you also believe in making your friendships happen! YAY! Take a step today to remind yourself you believe this-- call someone, RSVP to a ConnectingCircle, send a friendly email to another woman in our community-- let's make our friendships happen!